The holiday season and Christmas is a wonderful time of year. Great food. Great laughs. Great fun. It’s a time when friends reconnect and family comes together.

However, in my 40 years as a pastor and a counselor to those in our church, I’ve also heard about a great deal of pain around the holidays. This is because it is a time when broken relationships become all the more evident. Especially if family members who don’t normally get along all that well wind up in the same location to celebrate.

While you can’t be responsible for how other people treat you or respond to you, you can take control of your own emotions so that the pain of broken relationships doesn’t spill over into other areas of your life.

The emotional pain of a broken relationship is as hard to bear as physical pain, sometimes even worse. And, as with physical pain, healing must be sought. Jesus Christ can identify with our pain because He understands rejection firsthand (John 1:11). Part of the warfare for healing a broken relationship is believing God can heal your emotions. When God is able to heal your emotions, thoughts of the broken relationship or how it broke don’t send you into a tailspin.

Some relationships can be healed and the two people can be reunited. Other relationships may not be rejoined, and in those cases you will need to seek healing from the broken relationship itself.

Whatever situation you find yourself in, carrying around emotional pain is similar to living with an untreated wound. It can lead to further infections as the bacteria of bitterness and regret is left to spread. On top of that, if you had an open wound filled with puss on your arm (yet under your shirt) and someone brushed up against you unaware of your wound, your reaction would probably be to jerk your arm, or become angry and possibly say something unkind, or even walk away in pain. This reaction wouldn’t make sense to the friend or stranger who simply brushed up against you. It would seem like an overreaction to them. Any overreaction is tied to an old reaction that has not yet healed.

That is why it is critical to either heal your broken relationship with someone, or heal from a broken relationship. Otherwise, you run the risk of harming future relationships due to the wounds from the past.

It is my prayer that love will be the hallmark of your heart this holiday season. Let these principles of healing and hope sink in – share them with a friend or loved one – and let’s all celebrate the Christ who has come to give us abundant life.

More from The Alternative View:

Testimony Time

“I watch you every Sunday morning on TBN and enjoy your service.”   

“Brother Evans: I became a believer at the age of 35. Whenever we would get in the car, the boys would say, 'Is Tony Evans on?' You have been a blessing to my family for many years. Congratulations to your daughter on her beautiful job in War Room.”   

“I just watched your TV presentation on discouragement and depression. It came at a perfect time. Thank you, Dr. Evans! I would recommend your ministry to anyone because I love the way you get the Word across.”   

“Really enjoyed hearing you sharing Jesus yesterday on the interstate. God bless.”